Thanksgiving is often that day when we gather with family and friends, eat too much, maybe argue over politics, watch a lot of football, and generally have a good time being in the presence of people we care about. It’s that day when families widen their circle, make room at an already crowded table for friends and friends of friends who have no family nearby to be with.

I remember the last several Thanksgivings well. They represent our growing family.

Two of them were in Ann Arbor on long distance “baby watch”. In 2012, I was on my own having just started a new CIO position at Michigan Medicine. I was anxiously awaiting the call from our daughter in California to say she’d gone into labor and that I should get a ticket and fly out. It was our first grandchild. The plan was to help her out for the first week when they came home from the hospital. A couple I had met at church invited me to join their family on Thanksgiving as I waited. Two years later our second grandchild was due in Boston. Our best friends in Ann Arbor graciously invited my husband and I to join their family for Thanksgiving dinner as we waited for that call.

2013 was the only time we had our family at our Ann Arbor house – they travelled from both coasts for Thanksgiving. We also celebrated our grandchild’s first birthday together that long holiday weekend. And for my football fan son-in-law who grew up wanting to play for the University of Michigan, I bought tickets for everyone to go to the Michigan-Ohio game at the big house. A year to remember!

Over the next few years we became part of our Boston area daughter’s big extended family of in-laws. Now that my husband and I live in New England again and our California daughter and son-in-law live nearby, we have all been welcomed into the Boston area clan at the holidays. This Thanksgiving we were again part of that family but on a smaller scale.

We pretty much know how the holidays will shake out. There is the Thanksgiving and Christmas tradeoff each year between here and Florida for one daughter and her family. And we are always welcome with the Boston area family. Wherever we are and whoever we are with, we are grateful that we have people who love us or at least like us enough to include us. And when we host, we’ll be sure to widen the circle as well.

I called my three siblings “back home” in Minneapolis yesterday to wish them and their families a Happy Thanksgiving. My sister had written a beautiful post on Facebook earlier in the day on what she was grateful for.  After calling out family members, she also included these sentiments:

• The grandkids. The world I see through their eyes renews my hope.
• Our parents who grounded us in the value of the common good.
• The teachers who taught me the importance of giving back.
• All the non-profits working to lift up those among us who need a hand.

When we spoke, she shared a story about her four grandchildren who are much older than mine at ages 15, 12, 12 and 9. She and her husband created a family foundation a year ago. They are not wealthy people, but they are generous and know that so many have less than them. The grandchildren are the advisory board and vote on the charity to support each year. She and her husband proposed three organizations and carefully explained the work of each. The kids listened, took notes, asked questions and discussed them. They then voted by secret ballot. In a 3-1 vote, they decided to support RAICES this year. Founded in 1986, RAICES is a nonprofit organization that promotes justice by providing free and low-cost legal services to underserved immigrant children, families and refugees in Texas. Once she told me this story, I fully understood her comment about how seeing the world through their eyes renews her hope.

As you get through this long holiday weekend and all the shopping madness that has begun, don’t forget #GivingTuesday on November 27th. This global giving movement is a way to help others through the gift of time, money, or goods.

Let’s widen the circle in our lives – we will all be better for it.

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