In past holiday seasons I’ve written about managing stress and remembering your big rocks, STEM gifts for kids, and girl power gifts. What to say that is new and different? Not to be a downer, but this year I 
want to comment on loss.
My husband and I visited Washington DC the past several days for a mini vacation. We saw two excellent plays, went to a holiday choral concert, and spent a day touring the Capitol including visits to both the house and senate galleries. We visited several museums, saw the lights at the national zoo, shopped at the holiday market, and had several delicious meals. And after 43 years of marriage, we continued to enjoy each other’s company everywhere where we went.
But of all those outings, what struck me the deepest was the Judy Chicago exhibit at the National Museum of Women in the Arts called “The End: A Meditation on Death and Extinction”. The artist who is famous for her feminist and minimalist art turned 80 this year. In her words, she has been thinking a lot about her own mortality. While the doctors and nurses I know may be more used to dealing with mortality, it is a subject most of us try to avoid thinking about.
This powerful art exhibit is divided into three sections. The first depicts the five stages of grief – denial, anger, negotiation, grieving and acceptance. The second begins with a sculpture of an older deceased woman clearly at peace followed by pieces that speculated on how the artist herself would die – in peace, in pain, or you can imagine. The third was about extinct species – a very powerful message in a different way forcing the viewer to think about how we are slowly destroying wildlife through our actions and inaction.
I know several people who have lost someone they loved dearly this past year. Some said goodbye to elder parents and grandparents after long illnesses. Others in my circle of friends and family had more sudden and unexpected losses – a beloved spouse, a parent, a brother, a sister, a child. Many people say the first holiday season after losing a loved one is the hardest. I have no doubt about it.
As you celebrate the joy and wonder of this holiday season, make room for those who are grieving. Find kindness in your heart for all around you but give special support and love to those who may need it the most at this time of the year. If you have experienced loss, let those close to you surround you with their love.
May your holiday season and new year be one of peace, health and happiness.
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