In early September, StarBridge Advisors colleague, David Muntz, published a blog “Ring Theory – A Framework for Helping Others”. For me personally, the timing could not have been better. 
I was in Europe on a multi-week vacation but calling my sister in Minnesota every day. Her husband had gone into home hospice just before we left for Europe, and we knew it was a matter of time. He passed away on September 16th. I was scheduled to be home from vacation on September 20th. I told her I could come to be with her as soon as I got home. But we agreed that being with her around the time of the memorial service scheduled for a month out would be best.
I recently spent 10 days with her and had time with her two daughters and four teenage grandchildren. While I was there, I tried to be a non-anxious presence and listen a lot. Just as I did when my sister and I had daily phone calls from Europe and when I was back home. Much of what David talked about in his blog post were great reminders on how to be and what to say/not say.
My brother-in-law planned his memorial service over his final months. It was a beautiful service. The theme was love. There were many tears and a few laughs. As my sister said in a Facebook post shortly after he died, “In these last six weeks, he showed us all how to die. He was ready, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. In his words ‘I’m just leaving the party too soon’.” Each of us will face death at some point. My brother-in-law did it with grace. And he did it with love for his family.
Over the years I’ve learned how to be a non-anxious presence from my minister husband and have tried to develop my active listening skills, being compassionate and empathic with others. With David’s post, I am adding “ring theory” to my working knowledge. This is an excellent piece and I highly recommend it. As he says at the end, “We all will spend some time in the center (referencing a visual in the post) as the aggrieved or afflicted. Please use Ring Theory to help yourself help someone else. When done well, they will appreciate it; you will appreciate it.”
I have much more to reflect on from my family experience and losing my dear brother-in-law who I knew for 55 years. But for now, I wanted to highlight and share David’s post and encourage you to read it. You never know when you may need it.