Relationships and human connection matters. Whether it’s a best friend / BFF, a close work colleague, a neighbor, a roommate, or a long-term committed spouse or partner, relationships do matter. And they
take time to develop, nurture and sustain.
Vivek H. Murthy, MD, former Surgeon General from 2015 to 2017 and again from 2021 to 2025, spoke at the HIMSS19 CIO Forum on the prevalence of loneliness in our society and its devastating impacts on health. His 2023 book, “Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World”, makes a compelling case that loneliness is a public health concern and offers inspiring stories of how individuals and communities are helping people realize they are not alone.
In 2023, HHS published “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation – The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community”. In Dr. Murthy’s opening letter of the publication, he said:
“Each of us can start now, in our own lives, by strengthening our connections and relationships. Our individual relationships are an untapped resource – a source of healing hiding in plain sight. They can help us live healthier, more productive, and more fulfilled lives. Answer that phone call from a friend. Make time to share a meal. Listen without the distraction of your phone. Perform an act of service. Express yourself authentically. The keys to human connection are simple, but extraordinarily powerful.”
My husband and I have lived in 7 different cities since we first met. That means many different jobs, neighborhoods and church communities. I envy people who have close friends that go all the way back to grade school or high school. Given all our moves, we have started over and made new friends many times. As we get older, that gets harder. But we always have each other.
Our last move was in 2021. It was hard to meet new people and make friends during the pandemic. We were patient and started meeting people as we walked our dogs in the neighborhood. We knew that we had to be very intentional about making friends and maintaining social connections by getting involved in different groups and activities in our community and scheduling time to get together with friends. Yes, we have a few close friends across the country who were our best friends when we all lived in the same city. But it is hard to maintain cross-country friendships.
One of the community activities we’ve gotten involved in is a glee club that performs twice a year – a spring program in June and a holiday program in December. The theme of our upcoming program is “family and friends”. As we practice pieces each week like “That’s What Friends are For”, “Stand by Me”, and “You’ve Got a Friend”, I’m reminded how important my relationships are.
As we enter our 50th year of marriage, I can truly say my husband is my best friend. Anyone in a long-term committed relationship knows that they take work as you grow together. My advice to young people getting married is twofold – marry your best friend and be open and honest about everything. Don’t let things build up or fester – have a way to ensure open communication. We had a joke in the early years that we needed a faster printer because it was time to print out the “divorce list” – that mental list of the things that bothered us about each other, but that we knew would never change. Just being able to say it was enough.
In a world where we are so dependent on technology and all too often glued to our smartphones or other devices, we need human connection. In a world where many people work from home most of the time and rarely ever see their work colleagues in person, we need human connection.
What triggered this focus on relationships? Reflecting with gratitude on our 49th wedding anniversary yesterday and realizing how fortunate I am to be in a loving, committed, supportive relationship with some who has been my BFF a very long time. He knows me and all my faults better than anyone, and he still loves me. He is my rock!
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