Tag Archives: family

Vote your values

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My mother was just a little girl when women in this country won the right to vote in 1920. Her mother raised her to be a strong and independent woman. And in turn she raised my sister, two brothers, and me to not only be strong and independent but also to be kind and caring. We learned early on about social justice and equality. My sister and I came of age during the women’s movement in the late 1960s and early 1970s. We each have two daughters. Along with our husbands, we raised them to be strong, independent, kind, and caring women.

This week marks the centennial anniversary of women having the right to vote. The passage of the 19th amendment guaranteed and protected women’s constitutional right to vote. But this right did not come easy. The suffrage movement dates to the 1848 Seneca Falls Convention, the first women’s rights convention that passed a resolution in favor of women’s suffrage. A women’s right to vote came only after the suffragists organized for decades, marched in the streets, and were arrested. But they persisted and finally succeeded 70 years later.

This week also marks another historic first. Senator Kamala Harris is the first woman of color to be nominated for the second highest office in our country by a major political party.

White men are 31% of the U.S. population but hold 65% of elected offices. White men have long governed and made policy decisions affecting all of us. There continue to be record numbers of women running for office at local, state, and national levels. The face of government is changing. It is looking more like all of us and therefore more representative.

The right to vote is a fundamental right of a free society. Voter suppression is real and takes various forms. This is the time to be informed – know the rules and deadlines in your state. Make sure you are registered. Know your options for mail-in or in-person voting. Exercise your right. Live your values.

As I walk my neighborhood 3-4 miles a day, I see many yard signs for candidates in advance of a local primary in September. I expect to see yard signs for the November 3rd election soon. But the yard signs that have the greatest impact are the ones that express the values and beliefs of the people who live there – the ones that say:

We Believe: Black Lives Matter — No Human is Illegal — Love is Love — Women’s Rights are Human Rights — Science is Real — Water is Life — Kindness is Everything — Injustice Anywhere Is a Threat to Justice Everywhere

Vote on November 3rd or before if you can. Vote your values – for you and generations to come. 

Resources: 

When We All Vote

Fair Fight

Physical distancing: finding our way

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We saw our grandkids again on Sunday. A small family get together for Father’s Day and our youngest grandchild’s 4th birthday. As we all find our way and do our best to minimize our risks of COVID-19, being able to hug my grandkids brings me great joy and is one of the things I have missed the most these past few months.

There is a reason many people want to refer to this new practice as physical distancing, not social distancing. We need each other. Social isolation is not healthy. Technology has helped but it is not the same. Just ask someone who said their final goodbye to a loved one on FaceTime or Zoom.

Living in Rhode Island, my husband and I have taken the shutdown very seriously. Governor Gina Raimondo got ahead of it early with the shutdown order and then a slow, phased reopening. From mid-March until a few weeks ago, we have mostly stayed home except for the weekly groceries, a few trips to the garden nursery and Home Depot, the occasional takeout order, and the daily dog walks.

We limited family visits to outside spaces at our homes at a distance and no hugs. We are gradually loosening up on the hugs. As we all learn more about how the virus is transmitted, spending time with close family who have also been strict during this period seems reasonable.

My 4-year-old grandson first told me back in April on a family Zoom session that he was going to have a birthday parade, no gifts, and a small cake only for his mom, dad, and sister. It was sad to hear him explain this at such a young age but I thought it was probably a reasonable plan. The idea of a parade was exciting to him. But two months later we decided it was ok to do the backyard immediate family only gathering, which was 12 adults and the 4 young cousins, aged 4 through 7. The grandkids gave us hugs and briefly sat on our laps. It was good to not feel like we were all radioactive.

The slow opening of our own circles is a challenge we all must deal with. I do not take this virus lightly. I read a lot and listen to many interviews and podcasts with experts. I try to be as informed as possible about the science. And I take cues from my sister who has a public health background and my daughter who is an NP and has cared for COVID-19 patients in Boston. Continue reading →

Gratitude at a difficult time

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As the weeks of staying at home roll into months, I have nothing to complain about. We can do this. We have to do this. As some of the toughest weeks are yet to come, it is a good time to practice both positivity and gratitude. What I’m grateful for:

A child’s sidewalk art found on recent dog walk.

  • The doctors and nurses on the front line fighting this invisible virus, risking exposure themselves while caring with compassion for their patients.
  • The healthcare staff throughout our hospitals who support those clinicians.
  • The workers at every step of the food supply chain.
  • The truck drivers and delivery drivers moving needed goods.
  • The police and fire departments and other city workers keeping us safe.
  • The health experts who are telling it like it is.
  • The researchers and scientists who are working hard on testing, treatments and a vaccine.
  • The government officials who are leading based on facts and protecting their citizens.
  • The manufacturers who have pivoted to make needed supplies for our hospitals.
  • The health technology companies rolling out solutions for hospitals to manage during this crisis.
  • The journalists who are keeping us informed and searching for truth.
  • The technology and infrastructure that allows us to work from home and stay virtually connected.

And on the personal front, I’m grateful that:

  • I can stay connected virtually with my family and friends
  • I have a daughter who lives close enough to help do grocery delivery, so we only have to go out to walk the dogs and get exercise
  • My soulmate, Tom, and I will celebrate 44 years of marriage this week. I wouldn’t want to be staying at home with anyone else!

The growing number of COVID-19 cases and deaths is truly numbing. It makes us want to turn the news off. But remember that each of them is a person, with a family and a story.

May you find much to be grateful for as together we get through this crisis and do your part to flatten the curve.

Taking stock – goals for your next decade

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January 1, 2020 marks more than just another new year, it marks a new decade. And a good time to take stock.

What are your personal highlights of the past decade? What does the new decade hold for you? Are you living the life you want to live?

I have never been a “bucket list” kind of person, but I did set four big, broad goals for myself early in this decade. They involved family, work, travel, and friends.

My family goal involved grandkids that weren’t yet born. I told my husband that I wanted to spend a lot of time with my grandkids if I was fortunate enough to have them someday. That someday came for us four times between 2012 and 2016. Happy to say, I’m meeting my family goals. Once we had grandkids, there was no question I wanted to make the changes needed to live near them so I could see them often. We made the move back to New England in 2016 and it was one of our best decisions ever. They are now 7, 5, almost 5, and 3 ½. I fondly call them the “Fab Four” and we see them often.

That decision to move was tightly coupled with a major career decision. Leaving a fulltime position as a healthcare CIO to start down a path of interim management, consulting and leadership coaching. It’s a decision I have never regretted as I now have more control and flexibility in my career and work. This period has included launching and growing a successful health IT advisory firm, StarBridge Advisors, with two colleagues for the past 3 years. Continue reading →

Holidays aren’t fa-la-la for everyone

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In past holiday seasons I’ve written about managing stress and remembering your big rocks, STEM gifts for kids, and girl power gifts. What to say that is new and different? Not to be a downer, but this year I want to comment on loss.

My husband and I visited Washington DC the past several days for a mini vacation. We saw two excellent plays, went to a holiday choral concert, and spent a day touring the Capitol including visits to both the house and senate galleries. We visited several museums, saw the lights at the national zoo, shopped at the holiday market, and had several delicious meals. And after 43 years of marriage, we continued to enjoy each other’s company everywhere where we went.

But of all those outings, what struck me the deepest was the Judy Chicago exhibit at the National Museum of Women in the Arts called “The End: A Meditation on Death and Extinction”. The artist who is famous for her feminist and minimalist art turned 80 this year. In her words, she has been thinking a lot about her own mortality. While the doctors and nurses I know may be more used to dealing with mortality, it is a subject most of us try to avoid thinking about.

This powerful art exhibit is divided into three sections. The first depicts the five stages of grief – denial, anger, negotiation, grieving and acceptance. The second begins with a sculpture of an older deceased woman clearly at peace followed by pieces that speculated on how the artist herself would die – in peace, in pain, or you can imagine. The third was about extinct species – a very powerful message in a different way forcing the viewer to think about how we are slowly destroying wildlife through our actions and inaction.

I know several people who have lost someone they loved dearly this past year. Some said goodbye to elder parents and grandparents after long illnesses. Others in my circle of friends and family had more sudden and unexpected losses – a beloved spouse, a parent, a brother, a sister, a child. Many people say the first holiday season after losing a loved one is the hardest. I have no doubt about it.

As you celebrate the joy and wonder of this holiday season, make room for those who are grieving. Find kindness in your heart for all around you but give special support and love to those who may need it the most at this time of the year. If you have experienced loss, let those close to you surround you with their love.

May your holiday season and new year be one of peace, health and happiness.

Related Post:

Do you know your big rocks?

With Gratitude

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I was struck by the recent Becker’s Hospital Review article highlighting healthcare CEO messages of thanks to their staff. I saw gratitude, humility, commitment, servant leadership and a true passion for what we do in healthcare and how we serve our communities. Jim Hinton, CEO of Baylor Scott & White Health (Dallas) said Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday because the focus is not on gifts but rather on thanks. He quoted John F. Kennedy who said, “We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.” So true. And so important.

I am thankful for my family who are my “big rocks”. My husband, Tom, has been my best friend for over 45 years. My daughters, Katie and Ann, now have families of their own. We all get along and live close enough to see each other often. My grandkids who I fondly call the “fab four” bring energy and fun to every get together. And I am thankful for my siblings and their families who I do my best to keep in touch with halfway across the country.

I am thankful to my StarBridge Advisors colleagues, David Muntz and Russ Rudish, who started this adventure with me three years ago. And I am grateful for the talented team of advisors who have chosen to work with us and to all the healthcare organizations who have trusted us enough to hire us as interim leaders, advisors and leadership coaches the past few years.

I am thankful for my team at the University of Vermont Health Network where I have served as interim Chief Technology Officer since late May. I am grateful to everyone who is part of “team Epic” and worked so hard to ensure a successful go live a few weeks ago. The staff who worked many 12-hour shifts, the operational leaders who partnered with IT, and all the users who were patient with us as we diligently fixed issues.

I am thankful to all my health IT colleagues across the industry who I continue to learn from and who help make me a better person.

And I am thankful that I work in an industry that makes a difference in peoples’ lives every single day.

Related posts:

Crunch time and why IT matters

A passion for healthcare

Do you know your big rocks?

 

Hate has no place

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The most recent horrific mass shootings are not due to video games, the Internet, nor mental illness. There are more guns in the United States than people. Let that sink in.canstockphoto45815739 (1) no hate

Hate speech, racism, and white supremacy exist and are tolerated by some of our elected leaders who are supposed to keep us all safe. Let that sink in.

This is not who we want to be as a country. It is time for responsible, moral leaders to act.

I am saddened and outraged yet again by the mass shootings in El Paso, Dayton and Gilroy. We have seen hate target Jewish people at worship in Pittsburgh. We have now seen hate target Hispanic people shopping on a Saturday. These are people like you and me who go to stores, festivals, and churches like you and me.

I have no new messages. I have said it all before in one way or the other.

I wrote about every day racism last year after stories surfaced about incidents at a Starbucks, an Airbnb, a common dormitory room, and a college tour: Teaching moments – every day, everywhere

I wrote about the inhumane treatment of immigrants at the border: Heroes among us: pediatricians

I wrote about the strength and leadership of the Parkland students who started a national movement for gun reform after a mass shooting at their high school: What will you speak up for? and This can’t be the new normal

I wrote about gun control after the largest mass shooting in this country at a music concert in Las Vegas: When can we talk about it?

I wrote about the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub which targeted gay people: Who do we want to be?

I wrote about what I want for my grandchildren as I watched a gun control debate back in 2016: On being a grandparent

And I wrote about the need to build bridges as I listened with both sadness and fear to the divisive rhetoric during the 2016 presidential election: Build bridges, not walls

We must speak up for love and justice every chance we can. We must challenge those who hate and divide us as a people. And we must vote for the kind of leaders that we are willing to trust the future of our children and grandchildren to. Please join me.

Vacation season – make the most of it!

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We’re heading into the July 4th weekend and summer is already a third over. Hopefully you have made plans for a break of some sort with family or friends in the next few months. My colleagues in Vermont say canstockphoto21032568 (1) red white blue chairsJuly is the most popular time for vacations since it’s the only nice month of the year. Those of us in the northern parts of the country truly do appreciate our precious few summer months.

Remember the 6 R’s of summer – rest, relax, refresh, renew, reflect and reboot. And if you have to work or keep in touch with work while you take a break – check out “4 tips when you must work on vacation”.

Happy 4th of July to all!  Enjoy the rest of your summer and try not to think about when the first snowfall will happen. It’s still a long way off!

Related Posts:

4 tips when you must work on vacation

Take time to reboot

The 6 R’s of summer

Managing priorities and maintaining balance

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This week marks five years since I started writing this weekly blog. I still get asked how I find time to write each week. That’s a great question. There are weeks when I don’t know how I will find the time.  At canstockphoto9530224 work life balanceindustry conferences, people often come up to me and tell me how much they appreciate my blog. I was recently asked how long I’m going to keep writing. My answer was I’ll write as long as I have something to say that’s useful to others.

This is week three of my new interim management engagement. I have many new topics to cover based on all the best practices I’m seeing (PMO, Service Management, and effective meetings to name a few) but very little time to write.

My days are what you’d expect in an operations role while being in a learning mode. My nights are full reviewing documents balanced with addressing the highest priority follow-up work as a principal in StarBridge Advisors.

While I’m trying to keep up some level of exercise routine, gym workouts have fallen by the wayside. When we get busy, we have to prioritize and re-prioritize and be willing to let some things go. And we need to take care of ourselves.

Thursday night is when I usually finalize my blog and get it ready to publish first thing Friday morning. Many weeks, it’s when I finally write what I’ve been percolating on for a few days.

But this week Thursday night was a “date night”. A few years back when my husband and I first discussed the idea of me doing interim engagements, we thought that it could also mean having an adventure in another city if he came with me at times. We decided this was a good week for him to be in Burlington with me. We acted on that adventure goal and bought tickets for the Thursday night performance at the Burlington Jazz Festival. It seemed like a great idea at the time. Continue reading →

Negotiation is an everyday skill

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When we think of needing good negotiation skills, we often think in terms of salary and promotions. For sales people and buyers, it’s negotiating terms and price. But if you really think about it, you are probably canstockphoto16049179 (1) negotiatenegotiating with someone about something every day.

Let’s look at some different situations.

Negotiating as an employee – This is certainly not an everyday event. You may be negotiating salary as part of a new job offer or a promotion with your current boss. Keep in mind that you can negotiate more than just the salary and any potential bonus. Most companies have a standard set of non-negotiable benefits that the HR representative explains. But there are other components you can negotiate before accepting an offer. One example may be a remote work option or relocation benefits. Consider the “value” of other benefits beyond the base salary as you negotiate. The key to success is to do your research on what might be possible, be ready with your ask, and be clear on what you’re willing to compromise on.

Negotiating as a buyer – This is not an everyday event either. You may be negotiating with a vendor for a product or service. Or you may be buying a new house or car. There may be some situations where there is no room for negotiation but it’s more likely that you be able to. Again, it’s not just the core price but other terms as well. The key to success will sound familiar – do your research, be ready with the ask, and be willing to compromise.

Negotiating as a team member – This could involve a new assignment you have been asked to take on or a due date you have been asked to meet. Neither are set in stone. Continue reading →