Tag Archives: wellness

Season of Gratitude: Balancing Joy, Grief, and Stress

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I started writing this last week on a windy, rainy day from my home in southern New England. It was 61 degrees. We won’t see that temperature probably again for a few months.

Our artificial tree with lights that comes in three parts is assembled and plugged in. I’ll get to the ornaments in the next few days. Our little funky display of holiday figures in our entryway is done. Our decorations are nothing compared to what I see friends post on Facebook or what you can find on Pinterest. That’s OK. It’s ours. And when I get to doing the tree ornaments, hanging the few handcrafted ones my adult daughters made when they were little kids will bring a smile to my face!

I put together my gift list for shopping and have one more present to buy. I mailed the out-of-town gifts to arrive in time.

My husband and I are practicing four choir pieces for our Christmas Eve church service. As part of the glee club in our community, we did three performances of the holiday concert a week ago. My favorite pieces from that program were Prayer for Shalom and Peace, Peace. Music truly is good for the spirit!

This season should be a time of joy yet for many it is a difficult time of grieving, especially when it’s the “first” holiday without a loved one. And for people who shop for a lot of gifts and people hosting family or friends, it can become a very stressful time.

I’ve written a few blogs over the years during the holidays that are worth revisiting. Here are excerpts from a few of them:

Holidays aren’t fa-la-la for everyone

As you celebrate the joy and wonder of this holiday season, make room for those who are grieving. Find kindness in your heart for all around you but give special support and love to those who may need it the most at this time of the year. If you have experienced loss, let those close to you surround you with their love. Continue reading →

From workaholic to fitness enthusiast: living a healthier lifestyle

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When I turned 50, I joined a gym – it was a birthday present to myself. Many years of working long hours, commuting, and raising two daughters kept me from regular workouts. I figured at 50 it was well past time. I knew that no one at work was going to come into my office at 6pm and tell me to go home and take care of myself. I had to own it. I have belonged to a gym almost continuously since then though I’ve lived at 5 different addresses in that time.

I had another major milestone birthday last week. And I can honestly say I have never been as physically active as I am now. Go figure. Guess that’s what happens when you work less!

At a minimum, I walk a 1.3 mile loop late afternoon almost every day with our two dogs. I go to 4 classes a week at the YMCA if I register before there are wait lists. I play pickleball every day I can when the weather is good. And I’ve signed up with a women’s golf group to play 9 holes once a week when my schedule allows – I know this will be more fun and social than exercise.

If you are a golfer, you know that’s a humbling experience! From 2000 to 2012, I had periods where I golfed 9 holes once a week but never took lessons. In the past 10 years, I’ve golfed only a few times at charity outings. We moved to a planned community in late 2021 and our townhouse is on one of the two golf courses. We see a lovely but challenging par 3 hole from our deck – we see golfers tee off hoping to hit it over the junk and then we see them hunt for their ball around the green. This summer I decided it was time to get back into golf myself. Continue reading →

New Year’s Resolutions – one month in

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Do you make new year’s resolutions? Do you share them with others for accountability? Do you use the new year as a time for reflection and goal setting?

I have made explicit resolutions in some years and not others. A few years ago, I framed them as intentions – they were balance, passion and engagement. Regardless of what form it takes, the start of a new year is a good time to reflect on the past year and plan for the coming year in both your professional and personal life.

My resolutions at the start of 2022 revolved around life/work balance and I’m happy to say I have made good progress. In 2022, my work schedule was very manageable, I spent more time with family (including fun times with grandkids), got a lot of exercise (including becoming a Pickleball addict), and vacationed without worrying about work.

More time with family may sound like a cliché – maybe more available to family is another way to say it. So, what are some examples of being available? When my daughters tell me about a game or performance that my grandkids are in, I now have the flexibility to say yes, I’ll be there. When my daughters ask if I can take care of their kids for a few days, I now can say yes. That included “Nana Camp” last summer. And when my sister’s husband passed away back home in Minnesota, I was able to spend extended time with her.

I am carrying all these positive 2022 changes and more into 2023. Continue reading →

Grief and loss during the holidays

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In this Season of Gratitude as we celebrate holidays with family and friends, I am mindful that it can be a very difficult time for people who are grieving. A particular holiday song can be a trigger, decorations can be a trigger, just about anything can be a trigger. Whether it’s been a few weeks or many years since losing a loved one, holiday times can be especially difficult.

Being mindful of what others may be experiencing is so important. I won’t pretend to be an expert in helping people process their grief, but I have certainly experienced it this year with family members. Being aware of what they are going through, letting them talk openly about it, and just listening is my best advice. There are no right words.

While social media can be a pit of negativity, there are also bright spots of inspiration and positive messaging. I saw something on Facebook recently and shared it with my sister whose husband passed away in September. Healing Hugs (a non-profit organization that helps support parents who have lost children) shared these words from Angela Miller, founder of the grief organization, A Bed for My Heart:

There are no rules for surviving holiday grief.

Do what you need to do to survive.

Honor your loved one how you need to, and do what feels best for your fragile, aching heart.

You are missing a huge piece of you, so do whatever you need to do to find a sliver of peace.

I also saw something shared on Facebook about holiday host etiquette from Sarah Nannen who writes about the paradoxes we face in life, grief, motherhood, and our shared humanity:

If you’re inviting someone to your home and they’re grieving, be sure you’re inviting their grief to attend, too. It will be there, anyway.

Don’t invite someone with the goal of cheering them up for the holidays. Don’t expect them to put on a happy face in your home. Don’t demand they fake it til they make it or do something they don’t want to do, either.

Invite them with the loving intention of offering cheer and companionship and unconditional care during the holidays. To do this, you will need to honor and be responsive to their needs and emotions. Continue reading →

Aging, but getting fit and healthy? Yes, it’s possible!

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When I turned 50 nearly two decades ago, I got myself a gym membership as a birthday present. Prior to that, I hadn’t worked out much and don’t remember ever having had gym memberships. I took a few aerobics classes once in a while and we had a treadmill in our basement for a few years. I had long commutes for most of my career and would try to take walks in the evening when the kids got older. That seemed the best I could do.

When I got the gym membership, I remember saying that no one is going to come into my office and tell me to go home and take care of myself. Rather, I had to tell myself. As a parent and a workaholic with big jobs, long hours, and an hour plus commute each way, where would I find the time to workout?

I have had gym memberships steadily since I turned 50 and used them consistently with some ups and downs. Like many people, we cancelled our gym memberships early in the pandemic. But I set a step goal that first summer and happy to say I hit or exceeded it most weeks. I amped it up in recent months and am now averaging 13,000+ steps a day. But I have missed the weight training I used to do to maintain my strength.

Fast forward to a month ago. We joined the local YMCA. I’ve been exploring classes to see what I liked and would be willing to do on regular basis. So far that has included Urban Fusion (dance routines for cardio), Cardio Fusion (combo of aerobics with some dance steps and weight training), Y Strength (interval workout for cardio and weights), Gentle Strength (decided it was too easy!), and Matt Pilates (might consider it someday). I have now booked the first three classes on my calendar as recurring appointments so will try to go to them each week if my schedule allows.

And then there’s pickleball. Continue reading →

Goal setting and accountability – health goals update

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I’ve heard it said that when you share your personal goals with others, you are more apt to meet them. Something about accountability. I believe it.

 

About 8 weeks ago, I wrote “New year, new health goals, new tools” describing the excitement in our house about our new Fitbit devices and how we were motivated and ready to up our game in 2022. Happy to report that my husband and I have not lost our motivation and are still comparing our stats most days.

 

I’m averaging close to 13,000 steps or 6 miles a day. I seem to blow past the weekly zone minutes goal by Wednesday most weeks. All good!

 

But I’ve had a lot of ah-ha’s on my sleep patterns. I thought that I slept much better than I do. The sleep tracker data has helped me make some modifications. I love actionable data!

 

We plan to join the YMCA near us to get back doing weights, add more serious cardio than the long hilly walks where we live and to check out the various classes. We dropped our previous gym membership at the start of the pandemic 2 years ago. It’s time to go back.

 

While we have better routines for getting daily exercise, we know we can’t be slaves to our devices. But I admit, there are days when we get the little notification buzz on our wrist at 10 minutes to the hour reminding us that we don’t have 250 steps yet (happens hourly from 9AM – 6PM). We jump up and walk around the house until we hit it. A great reminder to get up and move – especially if I have too many back-to-back calls sitting at my desk. Continue reading →

New year, new health goals, new tools

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On Tuesday, our new trackers arrived. I’ve used a Fitbit since late 2013 and still had the Fitbit One device. It served its purpose as a very basic step tracker. When it started getting less reliable during our January vacation, I decided it was time to up my game with newer tracking technology. Plus, I realized my device was discontinued a few years ago so forget about just replacing it. My husband, Tom, was ready to start more serious tracking as we focused on new health goals in 2022. He had recently downloaded a free step tracker app to his iPhone, but it was only useful if he always had his phone with him.

We carefully compared the different Fitbit devices reading specs and watching the videos. Doing the comparison shopping together on my laptop had me in tears laughing with him. Tom has never been athletic and hated gym class as a kid. We were doing the main feature compare between the Luxe and the Inspire 2. But we thought we should check out the Charge 5 before we called the question. Part way through the short video for the Charge 5, Tom said, “It’s scaring me, it’s like gym class on your wrist”. I told you, I had tears I laughed so hard at that. We each placed an order for a Luxe and the Premium Membership.

Once we had the devices charged and he downloaded the software for the first time, we quickly figured out the main features and how to navigate. We are constantly comparing our stats. I know that will wear off. But there is a new motivation in our house to get in better shape and get out walking longer distances each day. Continue reading →

On the other side of the digital front door – part 2

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My health journey continues with multiple focuses. And my journey through digital front doors continues as well. I wrote part 1 on this topic in early November when I was in the middle of various health and dental appointments and scheduling more. I also wrote about what I thought was an awesome example of how technology has evolved in “Patient friendly testing – yes, a positive story!” in September.  The end of that story was not so positive. More on that later.

Here are a few anecdotes from my recent experience:

Cataract surgery – I had my initial consultation appointment the end of November and have surgery scheduled for mid-February. Specialized eye drops were prescribed to start taking a few days in advance of the surgery. As soon as I left the doctor’s office, I received a text message that my eye drop prescription from my doctor was pending payment with this special pharmacy – for immediate delivery to my home I should click the link to pay $82.50. I was a little suspicious of a text asking for payment like that and knew I didn’t need to have the eye drops until February, certainly not immediate home delivery. I called the doctor’s office to confirm the text was legitimate and asked how to handle the timing of delivery. I was told I could just text back regarding delivery timing which I did and got a reply that they could do that. I thought great, there’s a person on the other end. But then I received several more automated text reminders to click the link so they could ship right away. Then they called me. I talked through the timing and gave them my payment info. Their proactive communication (and persistence) was a plus, but I was more comfortable with real-time communication to coordinate specific delivery schedule and payment.

Bone health – I had a virtual visit with a Nurse Practitioner from the Bone Health clinic at my primary hospital. This was part of follow-up from my fall and pelvic bone fracture in August. The virtual visit was easy to get into and very thorough. I learned that more and more elders are asking to be seen in person – not this one unless there is a reason to “lay hands on me”. Continue reading →

On the other side of the digital front door

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Being on the other side of health care delivery is always an eye opening experience as to the progress we’ve made with technology and making it easy for our patients, and how far we have yet to go.

Now that I have more flexibility in my work schedule and we’re past the house move, I’m taking time to prioritize my own health. The newest health issue I’m addressing is cataracts in both eyes. I was pleasantly surprised when I saw that the ophthalmic practice in the area who my eye doctor referred me to has a patient portal link on their website. As I waited on the phone to make an appointment, I perused the website. I thought it was odd that the portal had the same name as my health system’s portal. When it was my turn to talk to someone, they told me my new address asking me to confirm it. I had just updated it with my health system on the patient portal last week. So I asked how they, a separate ophthalmic practice knew. They said the patient portal showed it based on my phone number. Turns out it is the very same portal as my health system. I asked if they were part of the system and they said no but they share the portal. Guessing there is more to the story – possibly an Epic Community Connect relationship?

We scheduled the initial consultation appointment at a location reasonably close at the end of November vs one at an even closer location at the end of January. But my positive response to this encounter quickly took a step backwards. As they described my next steps pre-appointment it included writing down two fax numbers. One to give my eye doctor so they could send a report from my last eye exam. And a different one to give my PCP so they could send a referral. When will healthcare finally retire fax machines??

The fact that I can remember my patient portal password means I’ve become a regular user. And that means I’m taking care of my health. Due to my injury in August, I have multiple ortho appointments and now weekly physical therapy visits.

I was late to my first physical therapy appointment due to mistakenly thinking the e-checkin on the portal would be quick. Continue reading →

Never too busy to take care of ourselves

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I have been impressed with my University of Vermont Health Network colleagues this summer on many fronts. Not the least of which is their level of physical activity. All summer I’ve heard about long bike rides, YourHealthYourChoicehiking, kayaking, mountain climbing and even a relay race overnight through the woods, called Ragnar.

They have motivated me to get back into my own workout regimen. Something I put on the back burner for three months. The last time I’d been to the gym was the week before I started this interim engagement in late May. I’ve been walking every night for 20-30 minutes but that is not the same as cardio and weight training at the gym. Classic story – you get busy and something must give. In my case, it was my workout routine.

Happy to say I started back at the gym two weeks ago and have worked it into my weekend and weeknight routine. Does it mean a few emails might not get answered some evening? Yes. But it’s critical to maintain balance and take care of ourselves – especially during busy periods. And especially when you are away from home in a hotel room each night where it’s all too easy to work until you turn the lights out for the night.

If one of my busiest colleagues who is routinely doing email very late at night can get up early and do a 20 mile bike ride before work, then I can make time to get to the gym a few nights a week.

We are about 60 days from our big Epic go live on November 1. It will only get more stressful and busier from here on, not less. As a leader, helping others maintain balance is best done if we too maintain balance in our lives. Continue reading →