Tag Archives: family

Family ties – we all have a story

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I am the youngest of my three siblings; I have a sister and two brothers. My husband, Tom, grew up the middle child with an older brother and a younger sister. All of our parents were deceased by the time we Blooming Grove cropped icaruswere in our mid-30’s and raising our own children.

My husband’s brother, Ted, died last November. Tom and Ted had an up and down relationship over the years but had come to a good place together last year. They got together for dinner on Wednesdays and had become good friends.

Yesterday, Tom and I drove 350 plus miles to a small community, Blooming Grove, near Williamsport, Pennsylvania to bury Ted’s ashes. Tom’s sister flew in from Arizona and several of their cousins who live in New England joined us. Why Blooming Grove? This is where seven generations of Schade’s are buried. It is a small community of Dunkard Baptists who first immigrated from Germany in the early 1800’s. A place in the Schade family history I’d only heard stories about until this trip.

Several of those generations are on our family photo wall. It is a work in process. Tom continues to add pictures from both of our families as we go through old boxes of photos. Our oldest granddaughter is five. She loves the movie Coco and understands it is about honoring and remembering your ancestors. When she visits, we often review the family photo wall and explain who everyone is.   Continue reading →

4 Tips when you must work on vacation

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If summer is the weeks between Memorial Day and Labor Day, summer is a third over already. Have you made your summer vacation plans? Have you figured out how you’re going to get a break and renew your canstockphoto38573795 (1) work on vacationenergy?

I’ve advocated making vacation time truly yours and figuring out how to completely shut off from work. You need to make sure you have someone covering while you are away and trust that they will handle things well without you.

It’s a little different now that I have my own business with two colleagues and our work is more fluid. When I am off for 2 weeks on a long planned European trip later this year, I will shut it off completely. My colleagues will handle whatever comes up.

But when I take other shorter breaks, I will continue to manage my key commitments and the high priorities. Here are some tips for managing when you must work on vacation:

Timebox – If you need to do certain work, schedule a specific block of time to do it then shut it off for the rest of the day.

Accessibility – Make sure your colleagues know when you are and aren’t available. With cell coverage and Wi-Fi being pervasive, it shouldn’t be hard to do whatever you have to do wherever you are. But when you are in a remote area and have limited or spotty cell coverage, make sure others know this.

Email management – We all know email can be a time sink. It’s endless. Scan it quickly and deal with only what’s time sensitive and high priority. The rest can wait. Since you are not checking it as often, ask colleagues to text you if there is something you need to deal with.

Managing family expectations – If you are the only family member who needs to work while away, let them know the time you need for work and manage their expectations.  Trust me, it will avoid stupid fights and bad feelings.

For advice on completely shutting off on vacation and why it’s so important to do so, check out my post, “Take time to reboot”.

Kudos to all of you who plan to spend some of your vacation time doing community service or volunteering for something you are passionate about – there are many opportunities to pay it forward these days.

Happy summer! It will be over before you know it.

Related Posts: 

Take time to reboot

Do you know your big rocks?

Time to stop and smell the roses

Heroes among us: pediatricians

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Pediatricians are one of the first and most trusted people you turn to when you have a new baby. They are a phone call away when your child is sick, and you don’t know what to do.  They give you advice on canstockphoto4424174 (1) families belong togetherhow to raise a healthy, well-balanced child.

Pediatricians and all healthcare professionals play an important role in our individual lives. They also play a critical role on a larger scale in our communities as they are some of the first to raise their voices and expose a public health issue.

Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha is the Flint, Michigan pediatrician and public health advocate who first reported there was lead in the drinking water. She went public with her research and faced backlash. She persisted. But despite the tireless efforts by her and many others, the Flint water crisis is a public health crisis that is still not resolved. She has just published a book called “What the Eyes Don’t See – A Story of Crisis, Resistance and Hope in an American City”.  A portion of the proceeds from book sales will be donated to Flint Kids.

Dr. Colleen Kraft, president of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), was one of the first to visit the facilities where thousands of children are being held after being separated from their parents as they cross our southern border seeking asylum. 70 children a day are being separated from their parents.

In a May 8th statement opposing the policy of separating families, the AAP stated: “Separating children from their parents contradicts everything we stand for as pediatricians – protecting and promoting children’s health. In fact, highly stressful experiences, like family separation, can cause irreparable harm, disrupting a child’s brain architecture and affecting his or her short- and long-term health. This type of prolonged exposure to serious stress – known as toxic stress – can carry lifelong consequences for children.”

Clinical psychologists describe the human toll this crisis is taking on children. The trauma and long term psychological and physical effects. In a recent interview, Dr. Kraft said the “zero tolerance” policy separating families at the border “amounts to child abuse.”

Nearly 4600 mental health professionals and 90 organizations have signed a petition urging the president and the attorney general to stop separating families at the border.

The media are shining a spotlight on the crisis at the border day after day. Continue reading →

Family first

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With a family vacation in our future that includes four grandkids between 2 and 5 years old, I am reminded who my big rocks are. While there may be times that vacation week when the level of chaos is more than I want, just being able to spend extended time together will be worth it.

I executed a new master plan two years ago that included living close to my daughters and their families. Since then I have had a chance to spend far more time with them than when I lived and worked halfway across the country.

I hope you all know who your big rocks are. And more importantly, that you make time to spend with them.

With that in mind, I’m sharing the “Do you know your big rocks?”  post I published in April two years ago.

Do you know your big rocks?

April is a mixed month for me. No, I’m not talking about the fact that we had snow this week. In April, I celebrate many happy milestones, including my birthday and my wedding anniversary. Andcanstockphoto25793802 now, both my daughters have April wedding anniversaries. And the blooming daffodils along the road remind me that spring is finally here. 

Yet, there is always a sad part of April for me. My father died from Hodgkin’s disease on April 23rd, just a few days before my fourth birthday. Losing a parent as a child leaves a hole in your heart and shapes who you are.

Stephen Covey has a great story about “big rocks”. If you’re not familiar with it, just google it. Our families are our big rocks and my daughters remind me of that. And as little as they are, my grandchildren are also big rocks for me.  Every time one of my daughters calls me on FaceTime and I see a cute little toddler smiling at me from my iPhone, I fall in love with them all over again. Continue reading →

What will you speak up for?

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When I started blogging, I grouped my posts in several categories. One category is called “On Speaking Up”. I guess it’s just my nature to be an outspoken advocate for what I believe is right. Some might frown canstockphoto17019906 protest (002)on that, but I am proud of it.

Like many in my generation, we protested the Vietnam War, we marched for women’s rights and gay rights, and yes even worked to impeach a president. But we didn’t worry about mass shooters in our schools.

In 1988, when my own children were in grade school, there was a school shooting in a Chicago suburb several miles away. One child was killed, and 5 children were wounded. It shook the larger community.

Fast forward 30 years. Mass shootings in schools, churches, theaters and other public spaces have become so common we don’t hear about them all. But we can’t let this become the new normal.

We are witnessing an accelerating movement of students telling our government at all levels that something must be done to protect them from gun violence in their schools.  Fueled by their anger and social media savvy, they are taking a very personal fight for their own lives to the streets, to the White House, to the Capitol, and to the media.

You can’t escape their presence. Nor should you want to. Yes, it’s hard to watch the raw stories being shared by parents, siblings, and friends of those who have been killed. But it is nothing compared to the anguish those families feel every single day. So, we must watch. We must pay attention. And we must support them.

Parents everywhere are faced with difficult conversations as their own kids watch what is happening nationally, process their own fears, and decide to participate in walkouts. To those parents, I say support your children if they choose to be active and be by their side. Continue reading →

This can’t be the new normal

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I am sickened, saddened, and angry all over again.

Yesterday as I did my early morning check of Facebook, I smiled at a memory that popped up from 3 years ago. It was a picture of my then 3-month-old granddaughter dressed in a little Valentine’s outfit withcanstockphoto50204846 school icon a little red and white stuffed bear next to her. She was propped up in a chair and holding a sign that said, “I love Nana Sue and Papa Tom”. It made my day.

Early afternoon, I talked to my daughter who is the mom to the oldest of our 4 grandchildren. She had just finished registering her 5-year-old for kindergarten next September. She learned that she’d be taking a bus to school and not going to the school within walking distance. The 5-year-old was excited at the thought of a school bus with her friends.

I learned about the latest school shooting in Parkland, Florida just before my husband and I headed to that daughter’s house to babysit the 5-year-old and her 3-year-old sister, so the parents could have a Valentine’s Dinner date night. The story was still unfolding, and the number of injuries and fatalities were still unknown as we drove to her house.

But watching just a short news piece I saw the anguish of parents anxiously awaiting news of their children. And I saw the fear and pain of the students who survived as they were being escorted out of the school by armed police officers.

Parents send their children to what should be a safe and nurturing learning environment every day. Yet, parents now with increased frequency wonder if their children will return home. Continue reading →

Another year, another chance

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Whatever resolutions or goals, personal or professional, you had in 2017 – it’s time to revisit, revise, and recommit. The most common ones are go to the gym, eat healthy, lose weight, read more, watch less TV, canstockphoto24043991 (002) NYEspend more time with your family, get organized.

And then there are bigger, loftier goals. My daughter has a saying on the wall of her home office, “Do Something Great Today”. It means doing something bigger than herself.  For her, it is helping her company act more responsibly, to act more sustainably. It is a great motivator to live her values and find ways to have a greater impact.

She also has her personal mission statement on her office wall – “live a life that I’d want for my two daughters”. If she wants something for them, then she must do the same – like be healthy or be a good friend.

I was inspired by a Happy New Year post on LinkedIn from Vicki Davis, VP at Healthcare IT Leaders. She said, “No matter what life has for us, we should enjoy every minute of it. Celebrate the beginning of a new year the most, as it is a clean slate. Set positive goals and resolutions. Hang them where you can see them every hour of the new year. Choose your actions and words wisely this year so that you are remembered as a good human being, a great friend and a true guide when you end this year.”

We all are driven by different motivations. But fundamentally, I believe we all want to be good people and do good for others.

I look forward to another year of learning and making a difference through my client work and the non-profit organizations where I volunteer my time. With my colleagues at StarBridge Advisors, we work with organizations to advance healthcare by leveraging technology.

While I have yet to formulate any bigger than me goals for this year, I am recommitting to some basic resolutions. Continue reading →

You need to own your own career

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December brings the holidays and social time with co-workers, friends and family. It’s also a good time to take stock and reflect on your work and career. Two years ago at this time I planned my next chapter and canstock120117 careerdecided to leave a permanent CIO position. My two goals were to live where I wanted to live and have more flexibility in my career.

I talk with a lot of people at different stages of their career who are taking stock and trying to figure out their choices.

They may be in their 30’s, relatively young in their career, and thinking about the next right move and where that would position them for the long run.

Or, they may be someone in their 50’s or early 60’s and thinking about how long they want to work and the one final job change that might make the capstone to their career.

Or, they may be someone who has made the decision to “retire”, but not quite yet. They are considering what kind of work they still want to do, and how much.

For people in that last group, I ask them to think about 3 questions:

  • What do you want to do? After all, what you are good at and enjoy the most?
  • How much do you want to work?  If you’ve been working 60+ hours a week at a demanding job, it’s time to consider how much time you want for yourself, your family, your other passions and hobbies.
  • What do you need financially? There are 3 ways to look at it: continue at roughly the same income level and continue contributing to your retirement, make enough to live on but not contribute any further to retirement, or start drawing on your retirement savings.

Until you ask and answer these important questions, it’s hard to make a solid plan.

For people younger in their career, these questions still apply. But there are others: Continue reading →

Thinking about relocating?

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“My spouse won’t move.” You may have heard this if you have ever hired someone who would need to relocate their family. You may have even heard it after you extended the offer. If it happens that late in thecanstockphoto49324635 process, it may be just an easy excuse because they weren’t going to accept the position anyway.

Whether your spouse and family are willing to relocate to a particular city is something that should be discussed and agreed on together very early in the process. Why waste everyone’s time if it’s not going to work.

Relocating is a big decision. I’ve done it several times. And each time, my husband and I discussed it early on. Was this a part of the country we were willing to live in? Was this city one that we’d be happy in? What did the housing market look like? These are just some of the considerations.

If you are early in your career, you probably want to figure out what kind of future opportunities are in that area, is it family friendly, are there good schools, and can you afford to buy a house. If you are later in your career, you may think of your next move in terms of where you might want to eventually retire or living closer to your grandkids.

Regardless of where you are in your career, there are some common considerations. Assuming it’s a job you really want and an organization you really want to work for, here is my advice on what to consider when relocating: Continue reading →

From One to Many

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In the past four days, I’ve learned about and interacted with ten different healthcare systems. Some are current consulting and coaching clients while others are prospective clients. Their needs for services canstockphoto1878305range from interim management to leadership development to small, discrete consulting projects.

Their challenges and needs are unique, but not necessarily new to me. After 30+ years in healthcare IT, I “know a lot because I have seen a lot” as the insurance company advertises.  But if I am going to be effective in meeting each client organization’s needs, I need to get to know each client organization, the players and the culture.

I enjoy the day to day work of an interim CIO engagement like my recent one at Stony Brook Medicine. It’s very rewarding to be part of a larger team making a difference for patients. But interacting with many different organizations around the country and helping them solve problems is an entirely different kind of challenge. It is fun and rewarding in its own way.

On that first call with a prospective client, you need to establish your credibility and determine if your services are a match to their needs. Listening skills are critical – when talking to a prospective client and once you get the work. You need to go deep to understand their unique issues. And at the same time, you need to apply your experience and knowledge from other organizations.

Five new leads for StarBridge Advisors have come my way this week. I’m chasing them all. Once I understand the unique need, I’ll match one of our advisors and prepare a proposal for the client.

This level of client activity requires good administration, organization, and tools. We have the tools and continue to refine our processes. We’re trying to fully leverage SalesforceIQ and use it consistently as a firm. Leveraging our tools and creating repeatable processes is all part of the work this first year in business. Continue reading →